i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
