you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
