We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
