I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
