FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
