Kiss
Puke
Where is the hickey?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
