god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
