people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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