yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
