Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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