I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
