So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm too high and old for this...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
