i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
