If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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