i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it glows. i had to have it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
