To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
