JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
