who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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