Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
