I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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