You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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