the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
