Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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