people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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