you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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