check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
