i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
