i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
