break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
