Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
