Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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