When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
