we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
