How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
