I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
