I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
