im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize