I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
