Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to cum in my sink.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
