I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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