my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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