he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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