so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
