Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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