OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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