i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
