love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
