shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
