its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
