you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
