I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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