Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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