Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
