Buhtt sex?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
