I feel like abortions should bother me more
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
