i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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