I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We had sex on a dog bed..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
