Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
