Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
