You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
